Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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