i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Randomize
