Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
