On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize