i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
