All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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