So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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