why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
