Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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