Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
