Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She made me pour olive oil on her.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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