I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
