So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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