you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
