So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize