he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm way too hungover for life right now
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
