My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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