I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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