I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
