Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
