these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
