what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
