If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Drunk is not a location!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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