This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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