Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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