i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
