Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
