How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
