I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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