Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
