Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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