i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
