dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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