Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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