We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
