oh god the rape fog is back!
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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