They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize