got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
