Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
