your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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