get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
