You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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