I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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