You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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