I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
