One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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