I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
