he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
