we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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