the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
