OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
sex in a hospital.. check
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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