so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
