meet me or not, i'm out of control
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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