you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
