Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize