i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
