It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
she looked like the before picture.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
