So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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