we have officially lost it.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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