Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
