I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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