Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
